Musing on Musings in the News

The Duluth News-Tribune published a story on Monastic Musings and "the blogging nun" in the Sunday edition. I'm still snowbound in Chicago so I haven't seen the print edition yet. I'm sure one of my Benedictine sisters will have saved one for me when I get home. (The photo by Bob King is from the Duluth News-Tribune's online edition.)

(I'm working on a post about the spirituality of getting snowed in - a follow-up to my conversation with Prior Peter's blog last December about getting stuck in snowdrifts.)

It's been a few weeks since Linda Hanson of the Duluth News-Tribune interviewed me, giving me some time to ponder the experience. I tend to be a shy person, or at least uncomfortable talking about myself. But this was not difficult; in fact, it was energizing.

Part of the reason, of course, was the focus on this blog. It really is a lot of fun to write it. I've enjoyed making e-connections with people who share some of my offbeat interests, or a perspective on an issue, or simply happen by. The little map in the sidebar tells me that there are readers on every continent except Antarctica - and I'm linked to people and ideas around the world. Talking with a reporter about something that generates so much joy would have to be good.

But, as I've thought it over, the interview really was a great gift to me, still bearing fruit.

The day Linda came for the interview was a little harried - just like any day. There were papers to grade, classes to prep, meetings coming up - and the usual array of students who need help or have issues. Although blogging our Rome trip precipitated the interview, the pressures of the semester had pushed those memories to the back of my mind. I was anxious - would there be enough to say? Would I make a fool of myself?

Why do it, if I was so anxious? It's one more way of spreading the word about the joys of Benedictine life. If God wants folks to hear about a blogging nun, well, it seemed to be my job to help that happen. That answered the other questions too: I wasn't in charge of how it turned out, just doing the best I can.

Linda is a great interviewer - interested, asking insightful questions, able to write a lot of stuff down without dying of writer's cramp - and making the process feel conversational. The time just flew by - I was surprised, when we ended, at how long we had talked.

The real joy, though, came after Linda left. Her questions took me back to those grade school days when I first had even a hint that God might exist. I re-experienced that moment when I realized that I had made a promise - "O God, if you exist, if I don't get in trouble, I'll believe that you exist and I'll follow you all my life" - and now, somehow, I had to keep it. A tall order for a little kid.

She asked what I'd done, when I joined the Church, all the twists and turns in a spiritual journey. I usually take that history for granted. But, somehow, all the other possibilities stood out as I talked with Linda. How easy it would have been for a 3rd grader to forget a promise to God after a few days, or a college student in the turbulent 1970s to drop belief in God along with other "mere rules" that seemed to easy to cast aside.

Christians often talk about the gift of faith. This interview really brought that giftedness home to me. It was amazing to find God to begin with, surprising to find my way into the Catholic Church, to be nourished by the sacraments and guided on the spiritual path, time after time, by people with deep insight, strong compassion - and just the word that sent me in a better direction.

Looking back on all of it, I realized that there was, really, no objective reason that ANY of it should have happened. The only explanation possible is God's great love, somehow reaching out to a confused little kid and taking her by the hand. In the middle of all the day-to-day pressures, it is so easy to forget that none of it had to be this way. As the poet Jane Kenyon wrote, It might have been otherwise.

Decades of a life of faith - the mistakes as well as the good deeds, sins as well as grace - were compressed so that the pattern of LOVE stood out plain and clear, above all the rest. That was the gift of the interview. Thank you, Linda.